Application to become an illegal alien

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Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his
senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue
Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the
Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process
for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the
Senate and fo r which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s
provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United
States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a
$2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.  I know a
good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started
before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can
apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
  
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped
paying premiums for medical insur ance, my accountant figures I could
save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter
would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
applications, as well as ‘in-state’ tuition rates for many colleges
throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden
of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car
insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have
college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would
be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA

Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service
1-800-289-1040.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO YOUR FRIE NDS SO THEY CAN SAVE ON THIS GREAT
OFFER!!!

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2 thoughts on “Application to become an illegal alien

  1. The biggest problem the United States has is a few decades ago some stupid punk added the words “of America” to this great nations name. Our founding Fathers named this country the United States not the United States of America. The funny thing is “of America” is not even official not unless I messed the session of congress were they change the headings on our Declaration of independence and the United States Constitution. I’m one that even though I joke about it would never give up my citizenship because I still think there is hope that we the people of the United States can replace all the corrupted assholes in government nation wide and take our country back to what are founding Fathers wanted.

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